TBH - the user story sounds like two User Stories: 1. Model Explanation As a MoP I would like to see the models so that I can understand how modelling assists in understanding the pandemic This one could / should be very nicely addressed with an (interactive?) Observable notebook. Can we not explain the models - e.g. SNS? 2. Data Explanation As a MoP I would like to see how the pandemic unfolds in my area so that I can make informed decisions about my travels, and day to day choices with regards to infection levels etc. This one needs the individual perspective, comparative views, etc. Maybe it's worth splitting and focussing on one or the other? :)

Right, you are correct here - the first is currently done with the interviews - the second with Observable. I agree the 1st could be done with Observable too (maybe better). The 2nd will have an individual perspective and comparative views - and that is the task of the RSE we hired.

👍 cheers - useufl focus.

were along with Links to data sources or models to be explained would be useful.

Nice - helpful. The data really is the message really (which involves traditional 'data' and various other things) - you apply the idiom to the message to try to help the user "describe how the pandemic unfolds in my area / when compared to the nation / when compared to another location".

But this link to a traditional data source is helpful! (f these data were used in the message)

As I say, the use of the data is something we look into now, in work that is a continuation of using these narrative patterns - this may be something we could omit, if we are very strict with mentioning what we have used in the past, rather than current and future stuff - but the fact we continue with these patterns does imply we are happy with them (cf reflection).

I think this would be easier and more informative if you selected specific NAPA cards. Which ones did you try? Why did you think they might work (given data and user story)? Where were you right / wrong and what did you learn.

Nice - specific, but see above. Maybe you want to focus on one? Which was most informative?

I think this is OK _ presumably this is a longer term forecast with more uncertainty? Try to be clear about what you are trying to achieve - in this instance, comparing short and long term forecasting and the data needs and uncertainties. And why you think 'familiar setting' applies.

A richer set of examples would be great - you mention 'familiar setting' and 'gradual visual reveal' above. Also - why did you select these NAPA cards in these cases? Do try to explain if you can!

Well... this is tricky, as we did not start with the NAPA cards in the first place - the narrative patterns we used are not unique to NAPA cards... I have attempted though, in the examples, to provide an indication of how these are being used in similar context. I would not say this is a novelty...

Remember that these are public facing docs - so this feels awkward!

Sounds like a forking problem. I bet MC has the fork locally!

This doesn't really read like a set of reflections on the way in which the Narrative Design Patterns from one or more of the NAPA cards applied to the user story?

The key information in here seems to be this bit: "To retain the properties ..." This is where you say what you did, but not whether it worked! The rest is less focussed on this particular idiom to be honest and more about organization and communication.

So, combining NAPA cards might work (hypothesis). Did it? (results)

"was considered successful" - why? Evidence? This is the "what didn't work" section!

Some consistent typos! "where" is often "where", "Wood" is usually "Woods".

Useful changes - check for consistency and see comments for further suggestions! I removed these from the title “incorporating the audience/ Humans behind the dots” as they are not mentioned - NAPA Cards works ok. See comments to improve things a little … they key thing is that you are dealing at two levels - individual narrative structures and NAPA cards as a resource. So try to include a couple of examples of NAPA cards that were used, how and **WHY** they were selected or deemed appropriate. IDIOMS love to see a little more consideration of WHY each card was selected as a candidate and then what your experience of multiple cards allows you to say about NAPA cards as a collective. Are they any good, would you use them again, etc. Make sure spreadsheet and notebook align: title , authors etc. We only have one author in the spreadsheet: Ritsos, Panagiotis Make sure that all who contributed are added.

Quite a few empty notes blocks here that can be deleted.

It would be great if you could show and explain how a couple of these have been used in a visualization context or a context that is close to this one? No rush, but this would add great explanatory value.